This month we celebrated Fathers Day. For the first time in my life I observed this day without the physical presence of my Father. Julio Nicanor Garcia died on April 20, 2008 at the age of 86. His last days were not pretty and the loss is still very raw for me. But I know there are many of you out there who have suffered this same loss or are facing the death of a parent in the near future. So I decided to do a show on the subject to help us all deal with the grief of losing our father. (See my website theladiesroomwithlolis.com show archives to listen to the show.)
I would like to say a word about my Dad. I want all of you to get a sense of what an amazing human being he was and in this way pay public homage to this wonderful man.
Last year on Fathers Day I had my Dad and My husband on the show. Before we went on the air I told my engineer to be ready with the delay button- you never knew what would come out of his mouth. My dad had a wicked sense of humor and always told it like it was which made for a great conversation but could be dangerous on the radio waves. He told my audience embarrassing stories of my childhood and ended up by saying how I was born talking, which I guess is a good thing if you do what I do for a living. We all had a great time and it is now one of my most treasured memories.
My Dad was a WW II veteran who never talked about the war. Years later he would go to Normandy for the 60th Anniversary of that terrible landing on Normandy beach and the for the first time that we can remember he would feel free to shed tears with others of his great generation. And he told us stories of being young and scared and in a war that he felt really mattered.
My Dad was the first in his family to go to college. He went on a GI bill all the while supporting his disabled father and his younger sister. This time in his life influenced all of his five children. To him nothing was more important than education and nothing came before family. I have tried to pass down those same ideals to my own children.
My Dad loved music. He played the trumpet and was in various bands during the big band era. My friends all thought it was so weird that I could sing all the songs of Ella Fitzgerald and Frank Sinatra, and yet my Dad loved the Beatles too. I think he never got over the fact that none of his children inherited his talent. The poor man spent thousands of dollars on instruments and lessons in the vain hope that one of us would get it. I think he was the only dad we knew who would have loved one of his children to be in a rock and roll band.
My Dad loved my Mom. From the first moment he laid eyes on her. He always knew she was the girl for him. He put up with a lot from us kids but never tolerated us being in any way disrespectful to the love of his life. He died loving her.
My Dad loved his kids. I was the first and I was born right before his 40th birthday. He always said we kept him young. I’m not so sure we didn’t give him gray hairs. But he was always there for us, at every recital, baseball game and life crisis.
My Dad loved cigars, good food, arguments, history, movies, travel, adventure, and books. He had a gift for enjoying every moment to it’s fullest and he loved his life. Perhaps that is why he fought so hard to keep it. He had a quick temper and a quick wit and he told jokes constantly-sometimes the same jokes so many times even his five year old grandson knew the punch line. But we always laughed.
In the end, my Dad left a legacy of love. His clan, wife, children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, friends and acquaintances banded together to remember him and we all had great stories to tell. And it was in these stories that we felt his presence, his influence and it is this that will continue to hold us all together.
Julio Nicanor Garcia lived a very good life and I will miss him every day of my own life.
Comments